Yes. No. Maybe.

I’ve got stuff on my mind, mind, mind
I’ve got stuff on my mind.
Its your fault all your fault, fault, fault
Its all your fault.
No its mine, mine, mine.
No its mine. Im sorry, sorry, sorry.
Im really, really, sorry.
Leave it to me to let you down.
You could have done without.
I have changed my mind, mind, mind.
Nothing was your fault is was mine and I let you down... again.
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This is to you lady that felt the need to butt in. You could have saved your breath you didn’t know what you were doing. I feel sorry for you.
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As i sit at home alone i have to fester in my own sorrow. I am the only one responsible for my actions. it isn’t anyone else’s fault but my own that i decay alone. One the bright side i hate cast so i will never quite become “that lady”.

i did know

one week today since... at first it was a personal thing with personal reasons. i had revelation last night that this whole thing has a plan and a moral. like most of the things that come with that package; what seems like a simple reason with a simple solution is much bigger. all the reasons i knew but didn’t want to believe. now that i hear things from time to time i begin to wonder. that is bad, i know to go directly to the source but why when that is the cause? the point of being cryptic is for me to understand the picture as a whole. im not good at doing that i automatically assume the worse and that all this mess is my fault. how can i see that thing will work out as they are intended to and not how i necessarily want them to go. tough lesson that i battle every second and every day of my life.

*SIGH*

I haven’t had much to say in a while... not sure what to blog about. I could talk some more about my feelings and sorrows, my life and job, my family and friends bla bla blaaa! I have no idea what to write about! I have some things that i have written that stay private because of certain reasons. I like to write and babble about things but can’t think of anything to type. :(

Why...pft...

Why do I intimidate people? Why are people initially afraid of me? What about my first impression appearance leads people to make assumptions about my personality? My character. My abilities. Then when I try to get to know people they are afraid of hurting my feelings or offending me? Lots of times people feel like they can’t be themselves around me. WHY? What is it people that causes you to think that? Please feel free to contact me with advice. Rarely am I offended to the point that I get mad... I have a super sarcastic personality. Perhaps that is the root of this issue? Do I take things too far even when I’m joking... probably. Do i look mean...maybe. (usually I’m just thinking and taking in my surroundings.) Is there a sign on my back that tells all about me... NO! Moral of this entry... Ask me, don’t judge, never assume, rumors are rumors, and i am a person too.
A.

VROOM! VROOM!

Well it is about time I got a new car…new to me car…! I have been looking on and off seriously for about a year. Last week (a month ago now!) I was poking around on the ole bay not looking for anything in particular. I wasn’t sure what I wanted so I did a general search…ECPENCIVE taste I have. (But we already knew that.) A friend of mine has a Highlander that I have had the privilege of driving from time to time. Well to make a long and eye bleeding story short I bought one. In Huston…no my friends not Huston MO, Huston the small beach front town in the Lone Star State. The fellow that I got it from is super nice over E-Mail so I thought what the h-e-double-hockey-sticks lets (father and me) do it!

(Let me break in to fill you in)
My father for those of you who don’t know him…he is 54 he is from Lebanon MO population 14,139, trusts no one, likes to have a beer, and never leaves the house except for a daily visit to his parents and Wal-Mart. That is him in a nutshell, keep in mind that people are complex and so is my father, thus is an obtuse description.

I had to work on Saturday so Stan wanted to leave on Sunday…I had a super unimportant babysitting job on Sunday from 4-8…couldn’t get out of it. (My friends scattered like cockroaches) So momma and Stan headed out at 3:30am on Sat to go and get it! VAAALAAA! I have a sweet new ride! It was that easy. Have a good day. Ashley

I always knew that I was famous…

Yet again I have established myself anomalously in some local publications! The first was the November issue…all the little faces were taken by me! Next was the December issue…my picture and my minimal Photoshop talents.

The newest and most profound is in our local bride mag. My pen that I created for an acquaintance is featured on page …well I can’t find any page numbers but it is near the back. Lastly our local newspaper style editor contacted the store a few weeks ago and I was the one who happened to answer the phone. She wanted an outfit of a baby’s first Christmas. Well…yes I have that JBS is a baby store! I had this goofy sleeper that had a goofy deer on it. But I had a brilliant set in mind that fit the store perfectly. I put together red and green Zutano pants and top and a matching TUTU. It was adorable and is made buy a local designer. To me a no-brainer! What the heck she picked the deer footie. Style editor my ass! Anyway…it was in the News-Looser this past Saturday…she defiantly described the deer hat as having horns!

"This footsie outfit from JellyBean is so sweet, cuddly and squeezable -- even without the baby. For boy or girl, it includes a matching cap trimmed in reindeer horns and tiny ears." FYI Shopping DIVA...deers have antlers not horns. Here are some examples of things that have horns…rhinoceros, cattle, Satan, and cars. Thanks For reading…

Red Yellow Green Red BLUE BLUE BLUE!

When I an alone and start so feel sad for no reason I write. I my heart I know that no one reads this that much…but I feel better when I get whatever is bothering me off my chest. The true and totally real thing is that I can’t think of what to say tonight. I have come off my “I read 3000 pages in 4weeks high” and am now back to my ole self. I had a fun time tonight, with my sis. It has been ages since I have played HP so I wanted to brush-up on it. Just so you know I am still the master on the ole XBOX 360, though I can’t turn it on myself. After that we (Bruce, sis, CL) all went on a little road trip to Chilies for some refreshing treats. That was fun but I can’t help but feel like the outsider though they make me feel at home. All of this goes back to the blue spell that I seem to have slumped into. Let me tell you that it sucks…no really SUCKS!!! I want to be myself again but I can’t seem to kick it to the curb. I had a great day at work and a great evening…Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully a new me. XOXOXOX Talk to you later.