Yes. No. Maybe.

I’ve got stuff on my mind, mind, mind
I’ve got stuff on my mind.
Its your fault all your fault, fault, fault
Its all your fault.
No its mine, mine, mine.
No its mine. Im sorry, sorry, sorry.
Im really, really, sorry.
Leave it to me to let you down.
You could have done without.
I have changed my mind, mind, mind.
Nothing was your fault is was mine and I let you down... again.
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This is to you lady that felt the need to butt in. You could have saved your breath you didn’t know what you were doing. I feel sorry for you.
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As i sit at home alone i have to fester in my own sorrow. I am the only one responsible for my actions. it isn’t anyone else’s fault but my own that i decay alone. One the bright side i hate cast so i will never quite become “that lady”.

i did know

one week today since... at first it was a personal thing with personal reasons. i had revelation last night that this whole thing has a plan and a moral. like most of the things that come with that package; what seems like a simple reason with a simple solution is much bigger. all the reasons i knew but didn’t want to believe. now that i hear things from time to time i begin to wonder. that is bad, i know to go directly to the source but why when that is the cause? the point of being cryptic is for me to understand the picture as a whole. im not good at doing that i automatically assume the worse and that all this mess is my fault. how can i see that thing will work out as they are intended to and not how i necessarily want them to go. tough lesson that i battle every second and every day of my life.

*SIGH*

I haven’t had much to say in a while... not sure what to blog about. I could talk some more about my feelings and sorrows, my life and job, my family and friends bla bla blaaa! I have no idea what to write about! I have some things that i have written that stay private because of certain reasons. I like to write and babble about things but can’t think of anything to type. :(

Why...pft...

Why do I intimidate people? Why are people initially afraid of me? What about my first impression appearance leads people to make assumptions about my personality? My character. My abilities. Then when I try to get to know people they are afraid of hurting my feelings or offending me? Lots of times people feel like they can’t be themselves around me. WHY? What is it people that causes you to think that? Please feel free to contact me with advice. Rarely am I offended to the point that I get mad... I have a super sarcastic personality. Perhaps that is the root of this issue? Do I take things too far even when I’m joking... probably. Do i look mean...maybe. (usually I’m just thinking and taking in my surroundings.) Is there a sign on my back that tells all about me... NO! Moral of this entry... Ask me, don’t judge, never assume, rumors are rumors, and i am a person too.
A.

VROOM! VROOM!

Well it is about time I got a new car…new to me car…! I have been looking on and off seriously for about a year. Last week (a month ago now!) I was poking around on the ole bay not looking for anything in particular. I wasn’t sure what I wanted so I did a general search…ECPENCIVE taste I have. (But we already knew that.) A friend of mine has a Highlander that I have had the privilege of driving from time to time. Well to make a long and eye bleeding story short I bought one. In Huston…no my friends not Huston MO, Huston the small beach front town in the Lone Star State. The fellow that I got it from is super nice over E-Mail so I thought what the h-e-double-hockey-sticks lets (father and me) do it!

(Let me break in to fill you in)
My father for those of you who don’t know him…he is 54 he is from Lebanon MO population 14,139, trusts no one, likes to have a beer, and never leaves the house except for a daily visit to his parents and Wal-Mart. That is him in a nutshell, keep in mind that people are complex and so is my father, thus is an obtuse description.

I had to work on Saturday so Stan wanted to leave on Sunday…I had a super unimportant babysitting job on Sunday from 4-8…couldn’t get out of it. (My friends scattered like cockroaches) So momma and Stan headed out at 3:30am on Sat to go and get it! VAAALAAA! I have a sweet new ride! It was that easy. Have a good day. Ashley